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  1. 02-23-2009 01:16 PM #1
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    White Sox Photo Day Caption Contest: Paul Konerko

    Caption this photo! We'll take submissions for 48 hours, and the winner will get some sort of board privilege.

    UPDATE: Samram is our winner.Â* Congrats!

    "Paul Konerko elects to forgo the eye of the tiger in favor of the dull gaze of the water buffalo."

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  2. 02-23-2009 01:23 PM #2
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    1) Konerko, mired in a two-year long slump, recently attempted to shave...and missed.

    Fuller added 4 Minutes and 29 Seconds later...

    B) In reviewing last season's stats, GM Kenny Williams asked Sox 1B Paul Konerko "What happened to you last year??" to which an annoyed Konerko replied "I cut myself shaving?"
    Inspired by Nature
    Imagined by Calatrava
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  3. 02-23-2009 01:24 PM #3
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    Slugger Paul Konerko will miss the first two weeks of Spring Training with a...small cut under his right eye.
    [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .]

    I was at a pornography store; I was buying pornography.
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  4. 02-23-2009 01:25 PM #4
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    Paul Konerko elects to forgo the eye of the tiger in favor of the dull gaze of the water buffalo.
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  5. 02-23-2009 01:29 PM #5
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    Konerko, who underwent off-season arthroscopic brain surgery, is almost fully recovered and ready for the 2009 campaign.
    Inspired by Nature
    Imagined by Calatrava
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  6. 02-23-2009 01:37 PM #6
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    (upon being asked about the mark below his eye) Cut myself shaving
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheeses
    Are you familiar with "smog"? All this shit we're belching into the sky doesn't just wisp into Heaven to be eaten by Jesus on a tasty hors d'oeuvre;
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  7. 02-23-2009 01:47 PM #7
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    Paul Konerko has wondered what went wrong ever since he gave the ball to Jerry Reinsdorf.
    IWMB: Right now, im in kick the fucking ball off and drop the fucking puck mode.
    zmz: :douchechilling :
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  8. 02-23-2009 01:48 PM #8
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    Teenage girls find me SEXAY!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheeses
    Are you familiar with "smog"? All this shit we're belching into the sky doesn't just wisp into Heaven to be eaten by Jesus on a tasty hors d'oeuvre;
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  9. 02-23-2009 02:17 PM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fuller View Post
    Konerko, who underwent off-season arthroscopic brain surgery, is almost fully recovered and ready for the 2009 campaign.
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  10. 02-23-2009 02:47 PM #10
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    Rihanna's brother was also not available for comment.

    BeviBall added 4 Minutes and 5 Seconds later...

    So this is what feels like when doves cry.
    Last edited by BeviBall; 02-23-2009 at 02:46 PM.
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  11. 02-23-2009 02:51 PM #11
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    "Do you enjoy my look of smug satisfaction? Do you? I make $12,000,000 a year just to spite you. All of you little cocksuckers. Jerry gave me an extra year on that deal just to fuck with you. How do you like that? I have a no-trade-clause. I'm not going anywhere. Not. Fucking. Anywhere. How does that make you feel?"
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  12. 02-23-2009 02:53 PM #12
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    I'm not not thinking of you naked.
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  13. 02-23-2009 02:56 PM #13
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    Thats not a beard
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheeses
    Are you familiar with "smog"? All this shit we're belching into the sky doesn't just wisp into Heaven to be eaten by Jesus on a tasty hors d'oeuvre;
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  14. 02-23-2009 03:00 PM #14
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    Paul Konerko looks into the mirror and wonders "Is my forehead as large as Hangar's?"
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  15. 02-23-2009 03:10 PM #15
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    "I thought I was supposed to play in California this season? Hey Jerry, I want my ball back."
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  16. 02-23-2009 03:13 PM #16
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    "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put on mascara and stab you with a knife"
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  17. 02-23-2009 03:24 PM #17
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    I voted Ron Paul
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheeses
    Are you familiar with "smog"? All this shit we're belching into the sky doesn't just wisp into Heaven to be eaten by Jesus on a tasty hors d'oeuvre;
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  18. 02-23-2009 03:36 PM #18
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    I reckon I sure cud go fer some un em french fried pertaters
    Threads, let us unlock them.
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  19. 02-23-2009 05:15 PM #19
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    You think that's bad, you should see my pubic region.

    Ziggy added 1 Minutes and 41 Seconds later...

    You see kittle42, this is why you don't go down on hermaphrodite prostitutes.
    Originally posted by Lewis Black
    I don't know if you noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking in the mirror at itself.
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  20. 02-23-2009 05:53 PM #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by samram View Post
    Paul Konerko elects to forgo the eye of the tiger in favor of the dull gaze of the water buffalo.
    winner

    "Slow and steady wins the race" he says.
    [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .]

    I was at a pornography store; I was buying pornography.
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  21. 02-23-2009 05:56 PM #21
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    Will someone get this crayon out of my brain.

    Yoda added 1 Minutes and 35 Seconds later...

    "Momma says I'll turn into stone if I have impure thoughts......I think part of me just did."
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  22. 02-23-2009 06:01 PM #22
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    If Konerko had the chance, he would eat you and everyone you cared about.
    [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .] [. Z o s o .]

    I was at a pornography store; I was buying pornography.
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  23. 02-23-2009 06:02 PM #23
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    you can't put a picture in a caption the picture contest

    you blowhard
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  24. 02-23-2009 06:16 PM #24
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    Homosaysme
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  25. 02-24-2009 07:39 PM #25
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    Konerko, after seeing Colon finally reporting to camp, comes to terms that there will no longer be a buffet after games
    Toews Tallies: 2
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  26. 02-25-2009 12:15 AM #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by samram View Post
    Paul Konerko elects to forgo the eye of the tiger in favor of the dull gaze of the water buffalo.
    Winner.

    Prize TBD.
    The most perfect, double-tapered shit of my life. True story. Who's the pitchers in this game?
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  27. 02-25-2009 02:01 AM #27
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    Damnit, I had a good one: "Oh so you took my razor out of the clubhouse? Yeah, turn that camera off."
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  28. 02-25-2009 08:11 AM #28
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    "You Want Chicago Tough?"
    Originally Posted by BURGH:
    Freshman girls usually go Ass to Mouth.
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  29. 02-25-2009 03:20 PM #29
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    BTW, Samram, your prize is the ability to close threads for a day. Congrats!
    The most perfect, double-tapered shit of my life. True story. Who's the pitchers in this game?
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  30. 02-25-2009 03:33 PM #30
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    "wait what "

    thats better
    ___/ ```| |``````````````````````````|
    |______ | | ....www.palehosed.com.. !!!.../
    ( ) ( ) ( ) ____( ) ( )_________( ) ( )____/
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